Saturday, December 29, 2007

holiday boredom

I've haven't updated in a while. I've started a couple of entries, but I seem to always get interrupted or bored with what I'm writing. I'm currently at home for a month-long break from school, and I'm fighting holiday depression with lots of movies and sleep. Finding the motivation to get dressed and actually do something outside the house is incredibly difficult when you have no one to do it with. Anyone who knows me would tell you that I'm a pretty private person, but that is not to say that I don't need to be socialized every once in a while. I'm content to spend my nights at home, but, ideally, I would have someone around to be my partner in couchpotatoism. All this time to myself with no school or job to cloud my mind has graciously allowed me plenty of time to reflect on my past failures regarding the opposite sex. I honestly try not to dwell on these things, but you try ending a (relatively) serious relationship then spending a month away from your circle of friends. See how that works out for you. My mind has been filled with what-if's and I-should-have-'s. So I'm trying to be optimistic, and the truth of the matter is that I am genuinely very hopeful for the future. In less than a year, I'll graduate and hopefully land a well-paying job. I'll have my very own apartment. I'll have no one to answer to. No curfew, no ridiculous rules, no homework, no political or religious pressure, no one paying my bills for me. I can't even express how appealing that is. I've been thinking about one-bedroom apartments, used cars, HDTV's, surround sound systems, and dating girls who have never even heard of [my university]. I'll be able to live my own life. It's these daydreams that are going to get me through my last 2 weeks at home and 2 semesters at school.